Casual Jokes Thread


#1

Since the One World Community is back, I thought I would restart this thread.

Rules:

  • No inappropriate jokes (sexual, bad words, etc)
  • No politics jokes (if you want to know my political view, you can PM me instead)
  • Must be appropriate
  • Try to make the joke funny
  • Be creative

#2

Question: I am a word that starts with the letter I. If you add an A, the word become totally different yet both sounds the same. What word am I?

Answer: Isle


#3

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the pound! XD


#4

If you have 15 cows and 5 goats what do you get?

Lots and lots of milk! XD


#5

What do you call a bee that lives in the United States?

A USB! XD


#6

When you can’t see threw the window what you what do ? you get a blind!LMFAO


#7

This is the best joke xD


#8

What do you do if you get swallowed by an elephant?

Jump up and down til you’re all pooped out!


#9

There once was a man who loved tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games. The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high school sweetheart, who didn’t mind his infatuation with tractors one bit. She didn’t even mind the role play where she would dress as a tractor, he would dress as a farmer, and he would take her for a “ride”. Sadly his wife was struck one day, a tractor fell off the back of a transport truck. She didn’t die until he was at her side in the hospital. Her dying words “don’t blame the tractor honey” and with that she headed to the big farm in the sky. Sadly, he did blame the tractor, he hated them now with all his mind, body, and soul. He went home and destroyed ALL his tractor related items, the toys, his wifes tractor suit, and even his collection of tractor porn. He put it all in a pile and burned it in the yard. What ever didn’t burn enough to his liking was thrown into a woodchipper. He then went inside, rarely leaving his home, for 8 years. Finally on the 8th anniversary of his darling wifes death he decided it was time to get back out in the dating world, plus the cute cashier at the grocery store had been asking him out for a while now, he called her out to dinner. The restaurant he choose ended up being quite nice, good food, good service, great decor. But there was one problem, it was EXTREMELY smoky. So smoky that his date, being an asthmatic, was having some trouble breathing. After noticing her displeasure, and trouble breathing, he started breathing in. I mean REALLY breathing in. Inhaling with such force that all the smoke quickly left the dining room, and went into his lungs. When the room was void of smoke he stepped outside and released it all into the night. When he rejoined his date she asked “how on earth did you do that?” to which he replied, “I’m an extractor fan.”


#10

What's more dangerous to Stephen Hawking than a fire?

Answer

A fire sprinkler!


#12

I went to a new restaurant in town last night.

As I went in, the manager stopped me and said: “I’m really sorry, there are no more seats available tonight, we’re fully booked up.”

“Oh right,” I sighed “do you mind if I use your toilet then?”

“Not at all” he replied.

“Great, I’ll have a mixed grill then please!”


#13

The music I was listening to at the time really made this the most depressing story I have ever heard…


#14

It’s called a joke bro… If you feel depressed whilst reading a joke then you need a doctor… You need several doctors!


#15

Have you ever seen the movie Constipated?

No?

That’s what I thought because it hasn’t come out yet :joy:


#16

Wanna hear a joke about a paper?

Never mind. It’s terrible :rofl:


#17

Feeling lonely?

SQUAWK 7500


#18

What world do you live in?
The Galaxy and Earth

But there is only one World


#19

Man I suck at Casual jokes


#20

If you’re a security guard at the Samsung store, does that make you a guardian of the galaxy?


#21

Once your working at the Apple store you can only eat Apples and terrible